Gentle Parenting And Montessori – Differences And Similarities

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Gentle Parenting And Montessori – Differences And Similarities

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Gentle parenting involves deeper parental involvement, with the parents taking on the role of teachers and elaborating on why certain acts and behaviors are suitable or inappropriate. 

Montessori’s approach has a larger focus than Gentle Parenting’s, in which kids are expected to learn by doing, establishing work ethics, attention, critical thinking abilities, autonomous learning, and the freedom to make decisions for oneself in addition to discipline.

Gentle Parenting And Montessori Methods – Foundation Principles And Difference

To practice Gentle parenting and Montessori, parents must regularly be involved in their children’s life by attending to their needs, having conversations with them, teaching them, and demonstrating confidence in them.

#1 Respect

Respect for the kid is of utmost importance in the Montessori method. Recognizing them as an individual with needs and wants that are unique to them is one of the simplest ways to demonstrate respect. 

The hands-on approach of Montessori parenting entails paying attention to the kid to determine everything they need to develop and learn. Children aren’t disregarded or left to fend for themselves. 

Gentle Parenting And Montessori

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While parents actively interact and provide guidance when appropriate, children are given some freedom in their prepared environment. The youngster becomes confident in their ability to make decisions and stable in their interactions with their family.

The gentle parenting approach opposes parenting techniques that promote neglecting the child to teach them to be less demanding. Gentle parents do not support the notion of “manipulative children.” 

They consider crying and obnoxious conduct examples of youngsters expressing their emotions. By attending to their concerns and paying attention to them instead of punishing them, gentle parents enable their children to express their wants and support them.

Check out our article on The Four Planes of Development

#2 Discipline

Learning through doing is the cornerstone of discipline in a Montessori environment. The youngster learns how things function by making mistakes as they are being done. They practice discipline by concentrating on their work. To foster curiosity and logic, parents can help their Montessori kids by watching them and explaining what they are doing. 

Gentle Parenting And Montessori

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However, the youngster is given as much freedom as possible to decide and think. Curious and determined children are not viewed as spoilt or unruly; rather, their interests and goals are explored to find fresh teaching opportunities. Crying or other difficult behavior is noted and shared with the kids so they can think about it.

Gentle parenting disagrees with the notion that punishment and discipline are interchangeable. It encourages education that teaches kids what actions are proper and how to behave better rather than using punishments like slapping, smacking, time-outs, and grounding.

The natural and logical outcomes of the child’s behavior are used as teaching tools in gentle parenting. Instead of being humiliated and punished, this enables the kids to make amends for their mistakes. As a result, kids will learn and understand that they need to improve since they are aware of the effects of their actions.

#3 Independence

Asking kids about various subjects or circumstances promotes independent thinking and action. Parents demonstrate their regard for their children’s views and thoughts by asking them questions like “what do you think.” Children’s thoughts are not dismissed because they are still figuring things out. Parents guide their children’s thinking by posing probing questions.

To increase their confidence in one’s decision-making capacity, kids are given the freedom to select from various options. Parents should encourage their children to learn how to accomplish things independently by posing questions that will get them to think instead of stepping in and taking over when they are attempting something new and lacking confidence.

Because gentle parenting does not advise leaving kids alone to develop self-soothing skills, it is frequently mistaken for a lenient style. By meeting the child’s wants, gentle parenting can somehow be thought to inhibit the child’s ability to learn independently. When a child is ready to exercise more independence, such as by sleeping in their rooms, gentle parenting advocates listen to their signs.

#4 Learning

The Montessori method holds that the best approach to teaching children is encouraging their independence and letting them learn independently. By allowing children the flexibility to follow their interests, this is accomplished. The Montessori approach to parenting opposes hovering over the kid and instead advises allowing the child the time and freedom to engage in whatever work, play, or chores they naturally enjoy. Within this flexibility, parents are recommended to watch and mentor kids through Socratic questioning to help them develop their critical thinking and reasoning abilities.

Gentle Parenting And Montessori

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The philosophy behind gentle parenting is that thinking children should be raised rather than those who would blindly obey rules out of fear of punishment. Gentle parenting is criticized for failing to adequately educate kids in a world full of expectations, restrictions, and rules. Instead, gentle parenting promotes educating kids to challenge the status quo when appropriate and demand respect from others and themselves.

This resembles the Montessori approach since it teaches kids to assess what is correct and inappropriate rather than just accepting what is provided to them. Raising sympathetic kids who can imagine themselves in other people’s shoes and recognize when actions are wrong is the goal of gentle parenting.

Check out our article on The Benefits of Outdoor Play in Montessori


Both Gentle Parenting and Montessori are approaches to teaching that respect the kid; traditional parenting sometimes misinterprets both as permissive and ineffective. Discipline is not the same as punishment for either parenting style. Instead, discipline is a youngster learning to master themselves by doing things or learning through experience.

While the terms “natural” and “logical consequences” are not used in the Montessori method, this is exactly how the lessons are taught to the pupils. The scenario is evaluated, and the Montessori children note the results.

Although Montessori is a gentle parenting style, it does not follow the Gentle Parenting ideology. The emphasis on the child’s well-being is a common thread between gentle parenting and Montessori approaches, even though there are certain places where they overlap and divide. 

Instead of punishing or shaming a child into submission, prepare them for the world by helping them develop self-confidence and encouraging children to think critically. This will help them grow up to be confident and well-adjusted grownups.

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